That funny feeling

Do you ever get that feeling where it seems as though when someone talks to you or sends an email or sends you a text, that when you respond it's as if you evidently encoded it or spoke in some sort of coded fashion or just plain somewhat transferred a big pile of stinking shit; such that you never seem to ever hear back?

This is how my days have been. And the odd thing about it is - I've checked what I've written or done my best to recall what I've said to see just what exactly I put in there to make people simply not respond again.

And honestly - yes honestly - I can't find anything like that.

This seems to occur on a regular basis. And it's not just written or verbal communications ... no ...

Conversations in person or over the phone - I get ignored or the other person decides to talk to someone else.

Meetings where it seems when I open my mouth I come off evidently as a complete imbecile. I've seen those looks before. Let's face it, if you've ever seen me at the office, it's easy to see why I'm an object of ridicule. Even I would laugh or scoff at me walking.

I can't help but be left with the impression I'm not very well respected or liked; just useful when needed and nothing more.

This occurs with people who I consider, and even they consider themselves to be my friends and family.

I get the impression at times that I'm not too very well thought of beyond being able to minimally complete my work and nothing more. I get a similar impression at home, in that at times it seems as though I'm just a paycheck and a presence to ensure that paycheck comes home. Vital signs? Check. Got through the front door? Check. Paycheck in the bank account? Check. Someone to watch over others to; to be the bad guy, to be the one who has to yell and scream in order to stop people from doing stupid things? Check.

It seems as though my only value to others is by occupying space and being nominally functional. Minimal value, the guy management remains committed to developing, the man that must be groomed and reduced to being pious and whipped and a gentleman who puts ladies first, who must it seems smile and bow and curtsey to others of higher level, stock, accomplishment, character just to get slivers of attention because things like respect, reward, growth, success, happiness ... no ... those aren't their problems. I've got to operate or perform at a level far beyond what I'm at.

I seem to not be allowed those things. I seem to be whiny or entitled or bitter should I ask for such things,  such that people must be tired of wanting to hear it.

Maybe they've lost patience with me.

Maybe they've given up.

Maybe they don't care enough.

Maybe it's not important.

Maybe they don't really know.

Maybe it's some combination of all of the above?

The thing is, it always seems as though it's me constantly cajoling people into wanting something from someone. It must come across as pretty pathetic or petty to most everyone around me.

What does it all mean? What can I do?

I don't really know.

It's a really sad frustrating thing to want to be more than I am, to really believe there's so much out there I can do if given the opportunity or the chance or be set up for once to actually be successful or happy. I've watched myself especially over the last year grow older and grow to really hate the person I see in the mirror because of it.

And who's to blame? Yes - me. It seems as though the only times in my life where what I do and who I am become important to people is when I leave or move on or move away.

I let all of this happen. At least I think I do.

I let people treat me this way.

I let people not understand how important something is to me.

I don't pay as much attention to things as I should.

I don't know nearly as much about many things as I should.

Instead I simply let all this anger and sadness and frustration build inside of me as I watch others - both people and entities I consider living pieces of shit - continue to thrive and fester like weeds or mutate their careers and pursuits into success and happiness and joy.

In essence, I've developed a life where I'm not really living for me, but for everyone else around me. So why should be surprised that it doesn't make me happy? After all, it's crazy to want and believe and think the same things over and over and expect that they'll magically get better.

Then I think back to the only times in my life when I've been really happy. When was that?

I was happy when I got good grades at school.

I was happy when I was liked and loved.

I was happy when I got rewards or treats for playing a piano piece well.

I was happy when I discovered chocolate.

I was happy when I got a toy I really liked.

I was happy when I scored a goal, or made a great save.

I was happy when people clapped for me because I sang something really well.

I was happy when a girl I liked held my hand and kissed me.

I was happy when I plugged my first electric guitar into an amp.

I was happy when I discovered a power chord.

I was happy when I learned I could come up with great guitar riffs.

I was happy when I wrote a rock song. I was even more happier when I realized I could write whole rock albums.

I was happy when I was in love with someone who really loved me back.

I was happy to know I could make someone feel really good by simply touching them.

I was happy to be center of someone's world and they weren't a child.

I was happy when showing musicians a song I wrote and they were eager to learn it and play it.

I was happy when my work resulted in the right decisions being made, and the wrong things not getting to the customer.

I was happy when that was recognized and rewarded with a permanent job.

I was happy when I was recognized for being valuable and doing important things and rewarded with pay raise.

I was happy when I wrote something down about something that interested me and was able to see it back at me. That meant to me that it wasn't just something in my head  - it exists and it became something one step closer to be real.

I was happy when I said something smart to someone and they were able to take that and do something positive with it.

I was happy to be a parent - for a few brief moments.

Looking back at that list, it seems like quite a lot. A lot more than I guess I expected. Maybe that's my answer to solving my issues - determine what it is today and tomorrow that will make me happy and figure out a plan to getting there. And then moving in that direction.

I thought to some degree I was doing that all along. Obviously not. But it's perhaps a reminder of what I can be, what I want to be, and what I need to do- they are all one in the same ...

Really? Everything?

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/jul/31/nsa-top-secret-program-online-data

"A top secret National Security Agency program allows analysts to search with no prior authorization through vast databases containing emails, online chats and the browsing histories of millions of individuals, according to documents provided by whistleblower Edward Snowden."

Read one of the XKeyscore presentations for yourself -

http://www.theguardian.com/world/interactive/2013/jul/31/nsa-xkeyscore-program-full-presentation

E-skin?

No seriously - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electronic_skin

Next time you hear someone railing against welfare ...

... ask them to clarify if they mean for people or for corporations?

Because I'm certain the person you're being forced to listen to is thinking of people and doesn't consider this -

http://truth-out.org/opinion/item/17867-billionaire-gets-new-sports-arena-in-bankrupt-detroit

Billionaire Gets New Sports Arena in Bankrupt Detroit

Note who the governor is - a right-winger.

Note who owns the Red Wings - another right-winger.

Perhaps they should not be called the Little Caesar Right Wings?

On top of everything, why do the Red Wings need a new arena? Joe Louis Arena is a monument to hockey and should be treated as such. Unless it really is all about money.

Will anyone really surprised when Manning is found guilty tomorrow?

The War on Terror evolved into the War on Whistle blowers, and has now become the War on Reality.

Happy National Milk Chocolate Day!

Can't believe I let this one slip by ...

http://www.thenibble.com/reviews/main/chocolate/milk-chocolate.asp

THE BEST MILK CHOCOLATE BARS
Assorted Bars

• Bonnat
• Hachez
• Michel Cluizel
• Santander
• Slitti Lattenero

Watch the North Pole ice melt.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/yourcommunity/2013/07/north-pole-turned-into-lake-from-global-warming-3.html

Is it just me, or has anyone else had enough of cheaters in sports?

Yeah yeah Ryan Braun - yippy.

Last year it was the batting champion ... and why is it his tainted stats didn't count against the Giants from winning the World Series - didn't he have a hand in getting them there?

Then A-Rod.

Before Barry Bonds, Mark McQuire, etc ...

Look ... I have to admit, watching baseball was something I grew up on. Although I will always enjoy hockey more as a sport, the last few years of the NHL have - despite some exciting games and moments - been largely something I avoided, due to the lockout, no cable, and a refusal to effectively fund fighting.
Maybe it's just age, but I find that as I get older, maybe the sports I watch needs to go slower.

But enough of this ... here are my bottom lines -

• Owners, managers, coaches, union leaders, players, even fans knew what was going on. 

• The 1994 Major League Baseball strike brought the 'game' into more than just severe disrepute. The owners realized that their leverage on maintaining Major League Baseball as a 'game', and not a business was faltering. The calls to finally define it as a business would soon come. And if that happened, MLB would be subjected to the Sherman Anti-Trust Act. 

• The owners feared they would lose financial control over their monopoly (though one could argue the real concern is that their abuse of the monopoly would be publicly exposed through enforcement of this law). So they needed a way to distract government, and the public from this type of discussion. They needed an event to generate sufficient attention away. 

Hence hitting lots of home runs suddenly ... became a sensation.

Look how many teams fielded players hitting 40, 50 home runs. Pitchers were being blasted out of games by the dozens.

Look at all the sprains and torn ligaments (that's the pesky thing about taking PEDs; they grow your muscles, but not the bones or ligaments)

Ultimately players who played the game clean are the ones who were cheated. And now they'll have the swirl of suspicion around them because of the actions of others. It will also be a lot harder for those who claimed they have played the game clean to prove their innocence.

What does it say about a form of entertainment (cause really, watching sports is nothing more than entertainment) that we choose to arbitrarily choose to watch knowing it's fixed, knowing it's really a business, knowing that any real talent is hidden and pushed aside in favor of cheaters?

I wish I could ... SparkLE!

Okay - shameless plug over something I'd really love to have; the Arturia SparkLE Hybrid Drum Machine -

http://youtu.be/0-gsE9pebqE

Paul Beckwith's blog entry on "The Great Arctic Flush" and other catastrophes awaiting us.

Read it here - https://neath.wordpress.com/tag/the-great-arctic-flush/

(Special thank you and h/t to Mound of Sound).

I'm not very hopeful after the last cyclone.Wait you say ...the last one. Yes. The last one was last August - where the fuck were all of you? Heck where was I?

Why this isn't the most important news item of the day isn't actually beyond my comprehension.

Or for that matter ... why THESE sort of things in this blog aren't being covered by the media is also not beyond my comprehension. It's not that we don't know the reasons why. It's that we don't want to accept that understanding what this means, means also acknowledging that we've done nothing to stop it.

The media in this country is owned by large corporations who seeks to draw the attention of future generations away and away. More on that here BTW -

http://www.truth-out.org/opinion/item/17647-the-violence-of-organized-forgetting

Quote of the Day - 07-19-2013.

Matt Baxter-Reynolds -

"The iPad works because it scratches an itch that people had. People like social networking services.
People like getting information from the internet. People like being able to pick and choose when they watch TV. The iPad let's people do that more conveniently, and in a way where the technology they have to deal with recedes into the background because it's simpler, more polished, better packaged."

This is what makes the strength of Windows on a PC a weakness in the smartphone and device world.

The natural tendency on a PC is to tinker, to configure, to fiddle with things. And in doing so,
one discovers things and ultimately learns something new. That's basically how Windows was designed;
it was designed with that mindset and for people who have a curiosity about technical things. You didn't need to be a technical guru, but if you had some degree of curiosity about how things worked, you could be empowered.

In other words - C language software developer.

But that's not who the customer is on in the device and smartphone world. The customer isn't a developer.

I've talked about this before - http://vultcult.blogspot.com/2010/10/commentary-ms-job-cuts-part-of-bigger.html.

That customer already knows (or at least believes they know enough) about what they can see and find
on the Internet to know they want something to appear and appear at their convenience. And in the case of
content, it's when they want it to happen, not when the computer decides, or the ISP (even though the
reality is that actually is still the case - the technology is hidden behind the scenes to in this customer
experience).

The goal for Microsoft and Windows to survive I think would be the following -

Rather than go out and try and mirror the current smartphone customer experience (which like the previous
battle in online search with Google - trying to compete on their turf with their rules in their game which they defined is a recipe for repeated and expensive failure), what the really need to do is define a new customer experience in this world. They need to leverage that hidden reality I alluded to above but not turn everyone into a developer - can they do it though?

But the best part is ...

Great song from an enjoyable film. Wish that skirt of hers flew up bit more though. This is a really tight live rendition.

But the best part is ...

... gotta love that 80's drum sound.

Summer is already half over ....

... and all I have to show for it is the nastiest bug bite on my leg.

The ugly gets uglier.

http://sustainablepulse.com/2013/07/13/the-sinister-monsanto-group-agent-orange-to-genetically-modified-corn/#.UebTlG1ujoZ

http://sustainablepulse.com/2013/07/13/us-military-tracks-gmo-campaigners-and-independent-scientists-english-excluusive/#.UebSj21ujoZ

http://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/new-investigation-alleges-us-military-monsanto-targeting-gmo-activists-and-1

US Military, Monsanto Targeting GMO Activists and Independent Scientists, New Investigation Alleges

If I ever truly need a laugh ...

There's always Red Ships of Spain.

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/00/00predships.phtml

Wes AND Ken Goulet?

This would explain so much .... were it actually true.

But it makes so much sense as to why these books are such garbage - guess there must be some other reason -

J.K. Rowling Revealed To Be Pseudonym For Newt Gingrich

Former Speaker Wrote All Harry Potter Books, Sources Confirm

 http://www.theonion.com/articles/jk-rowling-revealed-to-be-pseudonym-for-newt-gingr,33122/

Justice in America?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_of_Florida_vs._George_Zimmerman
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Trayvon_Martin

Apparently not if you are an unarmed black teenage male in Florida -

Jury verdict

On July 13, 2013, after two days of deliberations, the jury returned a verdict of not guilty for both second degree murder and the lesser charge of manslaughter.

Talk about 'shameful hypocrisy' ...

http://www.zdnet.com/google-accused-of-shameful-hypocrisy-in-fund-raising-for-anti-global-warming-senator-7000017913/?s_cid=e540&ttag=e540

http://act.forecastthefacts.org/sign/google_stop_funding_inhofe

Here's a clue - throwing fund raisers for politicians  = mean the company supports their views.

Doesn't anyone ever really learn?

You'd think after this, and this, someone would get the idea.

But, no -

Beekeeping Industry Sues EPA for Approval of Bee-Killing Pesticide

http://earthjustice.org/news/press/2013/beekeeping-industry-sues-epa-for-approval-of-bee-killing-pesticide

(h/t to Pacific NW Portal)

Hey Blogger ...

Fix your code for IE -

Webpage error details

User Agent: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 8.0; Windows NT 6.0; Trident/4.0; GTB7.5; SLCC1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; Media Center PC 5.0; .NET CLR 3.5.30729; InfoPath.2; .NET CLR 3.0.30729; .NET4.0C)
Timestamp: Thu, 11 Jul 2013 03:22:38 UTC


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Eric Lindros should never be inducted into the Hockey Hall Of Fame.

What makes a Hockey Hall-of-Famer?

They were the best of the best. What does that mean?

Consistently achieving the highest level of success (team) and/or demonstrating the highest caliber of playing (individual)

Or, to put in a more elaborate way, there are three things they should judge a player on -

1. Did his play aid the team in winning a championship at least once, and more so?
2. Did his individual play stand out as better than the rest?
3. A combination of one and two?


If you achieve #3, you're in.

I would argue in the case that if you achieve item #1 on a somewhat consistent basis, #2 becomes irrelevant.

Yes I said that -why?  Hockey is a team sport - you win the Stanley Cup as a team.

 #2 only becomes important if #1 is never accomplished. However the standard should then be a lot higher. By this I mean, yeah he may not have won a Stanley Cup, but he scored x number of goals or points or shutouts or wins, and so forth, and won these individual awards and so on.

The inability of hockey pundits and fans to separate accomplishment and reputation from hype and personal behavior respectively is not better more illustrated when it comes to Eric Lindros.

'most dominant player of his time' is really a translation for 'tough guy', and only in the NHL (since - 1) fighting has been long since proven that's not how one wins Olympic Gold, then his time in the Olympics doesn't really count; and 2) it wouldn't anyways - professionals should not be competing in an amateur event). The Don Cherry morons and mediots want him to get in to the HOF as proof you can get in by being 'tough guy'. The thing is, they are completely wrong.

First off, he wasn't tough. The flaws in his playing style were the contributing factor in his receiving the many concussions he got. You think Gordie Howe could've played 26 years without learning early on to keep your head up, especially when carrying the puck?

Secondly there is no doubt there are players currently inducted into the HOF that are there largely because of their physical play; and there's no doubt being rough and fighting contributed to that.

However ...

... the missing piece from that is that style of play existed typically within the context of a dominant team who usually won the championship. In other words, it was just one piece of a larger puzzle. I've yet to find an example of a tough guy who by itself led a team to a championship based on just that.

And before you name-drop Gordie Howe and Bobby Clarke, remember that they were part of a very dominant teams. Their performance and style was a factor in those teams winning, but it certainly wasn't the only factor.

The other piece to being in the HOF is delivering when it really counts (i.e. clutch playing). When it really matters players who are the best of the best help their teams win really important games and eventually, win the Stanley Cup. This is what Clarke and Howe delivered, and on more than one occasion.

People seem to think stats, potential and injury exemptions should allow Lindros to get in.

But it's where those stats were, what one was a part of, and what one accomplished in their career that count. This is precisely why people like Clark Gillies and Dick Duff are in, and Eric Lindros should not. The formers' stats have meaningful context in that they were part of the overall contributions to many championships. It says a lot about the person,as well as their contribution to the game.

None of his accomplishments can be either quantified or qualified against others to merit his induction into the HOF. He wasn't tough, and he wasn't successful.

And ... no one should ever forget that at no point in his career was he ever a team player. No one who turns their back on the team that drafted them should ever let that be forgotten. He always looked out for himself.

The bottom line is, Eric Lindros' contributions - however impressive individually to a small segment of the NHL viewers - didn't achieve any kind of measurable team success to earn him a place in the Hockey Hall Of Fame.

For him to get inducted, would be a betrayal of all that the Hockey Hall Of Fame stands for.

American History Lesson.

Here's the thing, it wasn't really just about 'taxation without representation' ...

"Most of the members of the British government and royalty (including the king) were stockholders in the East India Company, so it was easy to get laws passed in its interests. Among the Company's biggest and most vexing problems were American colonial entrepreneurs, who ran their own small ships to bring tea and other goods directly into America without routing them through Britain or through the Company. Between 1681 and 1773, a series of laws were passed granting the Company monopoly on tea sold in the American colonies and exempting it from tea taxes. Thus, the Company was able to lower its tea prices to undercut the prices of the local importers and the small tea houses in every town in America. But the colonists were unappreciative of their colonies being used as a profit center for the multinational corporation."

But wait, there's more!

"Only since 1886 have the Bill of Rights and the 14th Amendment been applied explicitly to corporations. For 100 years people have believed that the 1886 case Santa Clara County v. Southern Pacific Railroad included the statement “Corporations are persons.” But looking at the actual case documents, I found that this was never stated by the court, and indeed the chief justice explicitly ruled that matter out of consideration in the case.

The claim that corporations are persons was added by the court reporter who wrote the introduction to the decision, called “headnotes.” Headnotes have no legal standing.

It appears that corporations acquired personhood by persuading a court reporter and a Supreme Court judge to make a notation in the headnotes of an unrelated law case."

Context for it all here -

http://www.truth-out.org/news/item/17413-what-we-can-learn-from-americas-first-tea-party-about-countering-corporate-power

"How dare they?"

"How dare they?"

Because **we** let them.















How do we stop them? The answer is in the US Constitution's 1st three words -














We=>We The People.











Not corporations who exist in many countries.

Not governments whose institutions are corrupted by money and lobbying.

Not the military, whose leaders believe every solution to every problem involves force.

And certainly not a data collection system of software that can be hacked, manipulated, polluted, and twisted by those very same non-people entities to make those who question and those who are innocent of any crime to now become a person of interest, a suspect, to be monitored and watched as if guilty.






The government has become subverted by the non-people Global Establishment to become the very thing the United States' Founding Fathers fought to free themselves and their families, friends and communities from.












The only way to go back to what this country was founded on - and enable it so all people can benefit - is if all people stand together to never stop questioning, never be satisfied until all the facts are known, and to never ever settle for anything less from these entities and institutions.

Those that consider themselves answerable to no one person, can be made accountable to us all, if we stick together and hold them honestly accountable. I can think of no better or easier way.

And we need to do this sooner rather than later. If this country truly wants to be the beacon of hope for the world, then we need to step up and do this now. Because there exists a great danger that threaten all living things' existence and future that's going to bite us all really hard and never let go, if we dont'

Monumental stupidity more than hurt, the pain should remain to ensure accountability that it'll never happen again.

Yes, it should more than hurt.

Why do I get the feeling no corporate entity  will ever be held accountable for this?

Over 30 Million Bees Found Dead In Elmwood Canada

http://myscienceacademy.org/2013/07/01/over-30-million-bees-found-dead-in-elmwood-canada/

Problem is, how does one make corporations responsible and accountable?

Yeah I know, I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up.

Referring to this.

Seattle is another sport league's bitch ... again.

NHL’s Coyotes to stay in Arizona

http://blog.seattlepi.com/seattlesports/2013/07/02/nhls-coyotes-to-stay-in-arizona/


Sigh - not that it would make anyone feel better, but I know exactly how the city feels.

Playing around a bit with Blogger's background images.

I haven't really found one I liked, and I'm not enough of a geek to design one of my own.

So expect things to look different and change till I settle on something for the time being.

- CV SoG

Happy Canada Day - 2013.

Celebrate it while it's still around.

Well except Montreal, where it appears Best Buy is advertising that they're moving out of Quebec today -

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/story/2013/06/30/quebec-best-buy-moving-day-sale-canada-day.html

Oh wait, I forgot to read the headline -

'Moving Day' replaces 'Canada Day' in Quebec Best Buy ad