Phrases I can't stand.

'in my wheelhouse' - More like up one's ass.

'Masterclass' - More like masters at being ass.

'Seasoned' - As in 'Seasoned leader'. Was that seasoning oregano, sage, or just salt and pepper?

'hearty' - As in 'hearty' congratulations. What the fuck does this even mean?

 

'merch'  - Apparently adults nowadays cannot utilize a full set of syllables. So for 'merchandise', they now say merch.

 

'humblebrag' - not so much a term, but rather a practice (or 'craptice') I see a lot online.

 

Pivot - corporate operations whereby people working on one set of deliverables suddenly - and miraculously - start working on other things. Of course, the original things being worked on, are still due at the original time as well.

Growth Mindset - More crap from capitalism. People change and grow as part of life. But time isn't infinite for anyone on this planet. Additionally, even if one has the capacity to acquire and learn a lot, there's only so much time in one's life to utilize it. As well, there's a limit to the amount of resources due to over-consumption by the rich and the powerful. But this term typically applies the capitalist concept of obtaining as much knowledge, accomplishments, money, etc in as short a time as possible for the cheapest cost. And it's that part which is destructive, thinking you can endless and obsessively pursue those when there are in fact finite limits. Plus it assumes that success is what makes one happy. One can be successful at a lot of things, but that doesn't make them happy.

'shat' - Lotsa morons using this word as the past tense of 'shit'.  What fucking idiots and snobs all in one. I call people who use this term 'shitiots'. Just use the word shit instead. Wipe, flush, wash hands, and move on.

'profit-positive' - Capitalism and Identify Politics coming together for corporations. This is a most horrible term I hear a lot in the corporation I work in.

 

Assume good intentions - said by sociopaths.

 

Lockstep - also known as death march.

gig- or on-demand- or demand-economy - crapitalism drunk on technology.

'game-changer' - more marketing stupidity.

'push the needle' -  same as above.

'hangry' - idiots who use not eating as an excuse to be a stupidiot.

Friendly reminder - really it's a warning.

Personal brand - this one really galls me at times. "What's your brand?",  morons ask. I don't have a brand; I'm not a product or service, you asshole. I'm a human being - I have a reputation. And what is my reputation? It's what people really think of me when I'm not around.

'Can-do' attitude - Sucking up to the establishment.

'Must-***' -  As in 'must-see', or 'must-buy' or 'must-rent'. Shittiness in marketing - go fuck yourself.

 
Be recognized - In IT, that means forced to stand and listen to a lot of hand clapping that otherwise has no value whatsoever. It is however a great waste of time.

Bi-partisan - neoliberalism really, or some shit like that.

'throwback' - Some marketing asshole came up with this one, I'm sure.

Shock and Awe - look where that idiocy got the US.

Artisanal - Art is anal - ha ha.

Help me understand (or what I'm hearing ...)- Too often in IT, I hear this idiocy uttered by people often in authority looking for someone to blame when something either goes wrong, or not the way they intended.

ginormous - This is the current idiot term-de-jour to exaggerate something bigger than it really is. To me it's lame. I have a much cooler term - giganto.

Open Forum - In most corporations, these events are neither 'open', nor are they really a 'forum' of any kind. Speaking honestly in such circumstances are often career-limiting.

'Echo' your thoughts - i.e. I have nothing original to say, so I'm just parroting what someone else says.

Free registration required - Nothing is free in this life. As long as we have no control over space and time, everything in life costs at the very least, time you'll never get back.

Naming rights - More corporate stupidity.

'blue-eyed soul' - Another stupid racial term to describe crooning, warbling, and insufferably all in one.

'servant-leader' - I'm here to assist (with humility and grace) your ability to do what I say! Basically humble dictatorship.

'epic fail!' - Another example of using a verb in place of a noun. Similar idiocy includes using the word 'reveal', instead of 'revealing' or 'revealed'.

'fact-check' - often uttered by idiots in an attempt to make themselves sound like they're the objective arbiter of all things real; people who utter this are often times not. Facts are statements that have been already verified and validated to be accurate and correct. One doesn't need to 'check' them.

'Reach out' - I hear this one a lot in IT; 'please reach out to so-and-so for assistance'. The idea of equating contacting someone with the physical act of trying to touch someone is ridiculous. Seriously, this metaphor for contacting someone is such that it's become quite tiresome to hear.

Gift of Time - no one owns time, so you can't give it to people. And it's quite ego-centric of one to think they somehow have this capacity.

Chick-Lit or Chick-Flick - Referral to kinds of entertainment that is stupid, usually full of misandry by nature, and most of the time, the 'chicks' are fat, used-up has-beens. These are insults to actual attractive intelligent women .

Tracking - It's 'Recording', not 'tracking', or 'laying down tracks!'. Recording music isn't building fucking a railway.

Meh - People who utter this (or worse type this as a serious response to something) are idiots, plain and simple.

Whip-Smart - I never liked equating intelligence with violence.

Sassy or Saucy - or Stupid.

riot grrl - It's a shame when women try to set an example of others in how as moronic as men they can be, especially when they can't spell?

empower - classic claptrap, usually uttered by feminists.

synergy - a tired term from the 80's. Ranks right along with 'leverage'.

think outside the box ... - basically a roundabout way of saying think differently. Must a new stupid phrase needed to have been created just for that?

"... let's take that offline ..." - You don't know how often I hear people use this fucking term. Are we all computers on a network?

"Happy wife, happy life." - At a recent party, I overheard the husband of one of the wives uttering this time-honored, vaginalized, emasculated phrase. What a fucking pussy. Nothing more says you are unable to stand up for yourself or your happiness than deferring to someone simply because they have different genitals. And by-the-way why not concentrate on doing right, rather than focusing on things like statuses as this term indicates? It's all virtue-signalling.

My bad! - Bad what, language? BO? What I find annoying is people say it (in essence admitting to some fault) as if they are proud of it. Why do some people in society actually enjoy admitting ignorance or stupidity?

hell no (or hell yeah)! - Keep your idiocy (i.e. religious offerings, fairy tales, they are the same) to yourself!

Old school - As in, 'Kicking it old school'. How about I kick you Culture Vulture-style - right in the groin so you'd shut the fuck up with this stupidity? Other stupid terms or variants include - 'retro', or 'vintage'.

Aggro - Usually uttered as a sign of being tough in music. Really it's done to accommodate a singer's reduced vocal range, or a guitarist's weak fingers. People who use it are usually too weak or dumb to use the word 'aggression'.

Mission Statement - What, the CIA is finally funding that trip into innovation land where we can steal someone's idea and port into a new form and call it our own? Ever notice these tend to be either very long, or usually statement's', as opposed to a single sentence?

World Class - Most companies who describe their products usually use this pathetic marketing term. I've heard it used to describe company organizations as well. Though I'm certain World Class Wreckin' Cru isn't getting any kickbacks for use of the term.

Surprise and delight (our) customers or 'Customer Loyalty' - "Wow! your product makes me so happy. Too bad your competitor does what I need better." Too many people sucked into Six Sigma and using talking points without any real understanding of customers' needs and product quality.

'There was a disconnect '... or 'We had a disconnect; ...' - Okay - 'disconnect' is a verb, and 'disconnection' is what should be used. People who utter this should learn to use nouns in their sentences.

'jump the shark' - This meme has been in cyberspace for a very long time. I think I should probably devote an entire blog entry into debunking it. Ah fuck it, I can do it right here. No, Fonzie jumping the shark was great. But there were many episodes after that were great. It's when Joanie and Chachi left that the show actually went downhill.