Well I'll say this about being back in Canada ...

... I've never eaten better.

Well heading up to see family.

There's always some cost with doing that.

But it'll be nice to get away from some things around here,  even for a short while.

A vacation to start soon.

Just as soon as I survive and evening's work this Sunday - yay my employer and my family. 

Some day I'll have to finish that post.

This one that I started earlier - 

https://vultcult.blogspot.com/2023/09/the-trials-and-tribulations-of-being-in.html

https://vultcult.blogspot.com/2023/09/the-trials-and-tribulations-of-being-in_30.html

But it's days like this where I feel like nothing I do seems to go as planned.

I didn't want to work, and yet I did this weekend.

I wanted to get some music done this weekend, and I didn't.

Focusing on earning a paycheck pisses people off, and yet not focusing on earning a paycheck is a surefire way to be homeless. Doesn't matter evidently to people here.

I'll be shit on whether I work or not because to them, I'm just a living paycheck who should get it done during regular hours apparently. Never mind that should something happen to me, or my employment, we'd be homeless just like those under the bridge near our house.

But anyways, it's a reminder that I need to go back and finish Part 3.

But not tonight - I still have to work later, and be up tomorrow early to avoid traffic to get to that office to continue working (try saying that 10 times fast).

Normally I would celebrate the 1st day if Summer.

But it's hard when you have to go back to work the next day.

Time for a vacation.

I'm owed many comp days for all the late evenings, overnights,  and weekend work.

How asking for it in this day and age can be like a cancer diagnosis. 

But we'll see what I can get done.

Wonder when this will happen again?

https://www.usgs.gov/volcanoes/mount-rainier/science/lahars-and-debris-flows-mount-rainier

Another work adventure tonight.

This hot on the heels of more layoffs, more moving of jobs to other time zones (both in the US and other countries).

As always, why do I do it? Because I have no real choice.

Let's hope I survive until tomorrow.

Amazing how a loss of electricity can affect you.

Obviously it's been that way my whole life, and before that for quite some time.

But in today's day and age, with so many aspects of life now dependent on the Internet ... well ...

I have to remind myself...

... on days like this ... I have responsibilities to take care of, and people who depend on me.

It means getting up early to drive to an office to minimize the time spent on the road.

It means sifting through tons of emails to sort out issues created by psychopaths,  sociopaths, and narcissists, and help support moving things along.

It means knowing that leaving to head back in the middle of the day is done so at the ire of those above me, despite the fact that legally my employer cannot track how many hours I am supposed to be at the office. I do this for the same reasons as above - to minimize the time spent on the road.

It means creating processes to support moving things along, only to have those overrun and ignored by those above, at their discretion.

I have to accept all this - why? Because right now I have no choice.

Getting through tomorrow means surviving today. And I know what I want to do with my tomorrows. 

Hanging out at Saltwater State Park

I'm sure many before have stood or sat and stared out at the water, air, and sky ... and wondered.

More pictures of the White River

This time from Game Farm Wilderness Park.

Hike up to Rogner Park to see the White River.

Probably the single best commentary I've seen about Cuba in a long time.

https://means.tv/programs/revth0t-everything-they-told-you-about-cuba-is-a-lie?category_id=34135&utm_source=product&utm_medium=share&utm_campaign=content_share&utm_term=4057593&utm_content=copy

2025: End Of Year Thoughts.

Well, if I had any qualms about what 2025 would be like, they went out the door fairly fast.

This was one year I wasn't ready for.

Perhaps ironically, it drove me to start this post earlier than normal.

However rather than doing things as I usually do, I'm going to approach this in different way. Just write out a few thoughts and leave it at that.

If I had to choose a word that best described 2025 for me - it's LOSS.

Lots of things and people came and went in 2025.

Loss of famous musicians. It's weird to think that bands like Black Sabbath and KISS will never ever be now. I guess that's a part of life, but even then it's hard to fathom. 

In many ways for me however, it all starts at work. The loss of so many friends and colleagues over the course of several months, hit me really hard.

This isn't to say or suggest that I worship either the people I work with or my employer. But aside from family, it's the longest I've ever been in one place. So when you get to know a lot of people over a fairly long period of time, and many of the people exit - it can really do a number on you.

Getting up and going to work (that's a whole other story) isn't the same.

Walking through the front door and sitting at a desk isn't the same.

Focusing on your job and missing critical people who help you in your job isn't the same.

In so many ways I've known that a job is a job, and to an employer, that's all one is. But due to all the layoffs, I really feel it more. And based on the reasons for hit happening, I know that it's really only a matter of time before it happens to me as well.  

Along with this, came an apparent loss of respect. By this I mean that I finally know now that I'm truly not very highly regarded or respected by anyone at work - rather I'm only tolerated because of the group I'm in, and that this role wasn't one worth considered transitioning over to a service provider. This is a reminder to me (like it or not) that I have to come to terms with the idea that I really need to make the transition out. There are really only three possibilities -

• Transition to a new role internally
• Transition to a new role externally
• Transition to a new vocation completely

Yeah, good luck on any of those in this environment of endless job losses.We'll see where that goes.

Then there's the loss of people around the world.

The ongoing genocide of brown people largely by white people (i.e.Israel's genocide crimes against the Palestinians) is a reminder to me to that we as a species are heading down a path with no return. If we collectively cannot stop one group of people from destroying a whole other group of people (and recognize that the underlying system that allows this - neo-liberal US Crapitalism -is the source of many other ills in the world, including colonialism, imperialism, fascism, etc) - then how to we stand any chance of stopping the largest threat to all of us - climate change?

I did make some progress music-wise. 

Actually completed writing 10 new songs this year. I wrote an additional few extra songs, with many more ideas (chord progressions, riffs, lyrics, melodies) lined up. The thing is, this all came at a loss - I HAD to focus on this because I lost my main equipment for writing and arranging. And to make things worse,  the replacements for them won't be arriving any time soon.

One good thing I did get out of all this, was I was finally able to finalize on a way or recording that actually will meet my basic goals.

It's funny how losing a critical piece of technology actually forced me to adapt and use older and less pristine equipment; such that I was able to be both creative and productive.

Lastly, there has been the loss of trust.

It took me long enough to realize that there are some people in my life that are consciously and actively looking to sabotage my goals and wishes - by any means necessary. Often times it comes in the form of sowing doubt in me, or simply telling me what I want to do is a waste of time. In other cases, it's about stony silence and lack of engagement.

The discovery of all this has been painful for me in many ways. It's a tough thing to realize that I'm regarded and treated as nothing more than a living paycheck; who gets up early to avoid traffic, work early and late and weekends (the latter of which I think, was one of the reason I am still employed), only to hand all that over in a paycheck to be spent into nothingness with no care in the world. And then to be otherwise marginalized, or simply not taken into consideration. It's even worse when one's ideas and thoughts and wishes are dismissed, derailed, de-emphasized, or simply ignored altogether.

But ... what I have learned throughout all this is ... that none of this will sidetrack me on what I want to do - why?

1. My happiness is something I can achieve - I don't need to find that elsewhere. And I certainly don't need to find it in others.
2. Don't take things personally and emotionally from others - even if (and especially even if) that's how it's intended.  

All that bullshit and drams is just that - bullshit and drama designed to distract and deflect and prolong and project others' and their unhappiness and inadequacies onto me. And that it truly is up to me to move forward. In this regard, the seeds of that plan are slowing being planted now. Now it's time to be patient, stay focused on delivering on the day-to-day things, and being polite and professional.

When those seeds begin to sprout, it's up to me to nurture them,and make it grow. None of what these people do will hold me back from my happiness. And now that I know who and what they are - I won't let them.

Prologue

Well I said I'd do something different, and here it is. This whole year, loss has been a theme; and with that comes sadness. I think of sadness as our way of coping with loss, as a means of finding a way forward on our own. I spent a lot of time on the road and by myself. One positive output of this, was listening to lots of different kinds of music. This one particular song really touched me, because it contains many elements of the way I'm looking to make music in the future. But as well, emotionally, the tone, the notes, the scale, the instruments (heck the basic chord progression) really helped me cope and continues to do so.

So I'm posting it here - perhaps if you are experiencing loss, it can do for you what it has for me.

 

 

10000 bodies found by one excavator.

Repeat that to anyone who still think the State of Israel isn't committing genocide.

And show them this -> https://mondoweiss.net/2025/12/one-excavator-10000-bodies-a-sea-of-rubble-inside-gazas-effort-to-retrieve-and-bury-its-dead/ 

Hey Hampton at Hilton ...

... when I decide which hotel to stay at during my next vacation,  it won't be with your corporation due to your manhate ad I saw while watching a hockey game.

"...building lasting political power".

Can't say it any better than that.

https://mondoweiss.net/2025/11/after-the-ceasefire-what-next-for-global-solidarity-with-palestine/ 

Just as crucial is the need to go beyond conventional protests and episodic mobilisation that rise in crisis and fade under repression. It must develop the infrastructure, alliances, and strategies that ensure longevity, especially when media attention fades.

Digital organising, counter-disinformation work, and secure communication networks must become central tools. Alliances built over the past two years with anti-colonial, labour, feminist, climate, and racial justice movements must be deepened, so that the Palestinian struggle is understood not as an isolated crisis but as part of a global fight against systems of domination.

 

What does the species of human civilization need, now more than ever?

1. We need to recognize that the environmental crisis of climate change is a direct result of this global political/economic system of neoliberal capitalism.
2. Said system needs to be replaced with one that eliminates the hierarchical inequalities that created this and other crises - one that rids us of greed, competition and pursuit of profit and money.  

https://thetricontinental.org/dossier-environmental-crisis/

Moonlight at Sunset Park.