Leave to The Onion to really get it right.

There's this -

https://entertainment.theonion.com/oprah-winfrey-breaks-record-for-most-appearances-on-the-1826110402

Oprah Winfrey Breaks Record For Most Appearances On The Cover Of ‘O Magazine’

 Then there's this -

https://www.theonion.com/idf-soldier-recounts-harrowing-heroic-war-story-of-kil-1826048745

IDF Soldier Recounts Harrowing, Heroic War Story Of Killing 8-Month-Old Child

And then there's this -

https://local.theonion.com/woman-nervously-reaches-for-cell-phone-as-suspicious-bl-1826116847

Woman Nervously Reaches For Cell Phone As Suspicious Black Man Tells Her Today’s Soup Is Minestrone