I'm sorry
Why, you may ask?
Long ago - okay when I was a kid - I was taught that you said this when you did something wrong, did something to hurt someone and you didn't mean to, and most importantly, that how you expressed it indicates your feelings of sorrow and genuine concern over what you caused.
Expressing something that when one in fact does something wrong I learned is a sign of maturity and honest concern for a fellow person.
No longer.
Nowadays, people use it in every possible way and with every other possible intonation possible. Except as it was orignally intended
And don't give me this crap - we all know women love to hear the words from a man. Just look at the mounds of stupidity in the comments here. I think it's really a form of an ego-power trip many women like to play on men. To me it's self-defeating. What value is there in it if there is no genuine feeling behind it? It's just paying lip service to one's power trip.
But really, someone constantly apologizing to me for every little thing and even things they didn't do, doesn't make me like or respect the person even more. Quite the opposite, it tells me a number of possible things -
- The person tends to do a lot of wrong things, which could indicate some cognitive problem
- The person is trying to cover up for something really big that they're not telling you
- The person is completely superficial and really doesn't give a rat's ass how you feel. Consequently they are using the term simply as a license to do whatever the fuck they please
- Some combination of the above.
15. Not shaving
Tell her that you're growing a beard to make up for neglecting your own male instincts, ever since you've been paying extra attention to her sensitive needs.
14. Stiffing a despicable waiter
Tipping is not a requirement. It's an option that you have when a waiter provides good service. So if you ever have the pleasure of being served by a waiter who hits on your woman or makes you look bad in front of her, don't leave a tip and don't apologize for it.
13. Working hard and coming home late
Crying to your wife, "I'm sorry for ignoring your needs and working harder and staying late at work so that I can pay for your expensive Gucci shoes, diamond anniversary ring, and mink fur coat" just doesn't sound right.
12. Looking at beautiful women
Try to avoid doing it in front of her, but don't apologize if she catches you. She's also looking at others when you're not around. Just let her know that you appreciate beautiful things.
10. Checking the restaurant bill twice
No one's perfect and waiters do make mistakes with bills at times, so if you're paying for it, don't apologize for giving the bill a second glance.
9. Not checking with your spouse or girlfriend
Women like it when men are spontaneous. So the next time she gets mad at you for not consulting with her first before making plans, tell her, "Oh, but it's so impulsive, and I know you like spontaneity."
7. Being rude to one of your wife's friends
She'll probably be the reason for your marriage's failure, so you may as well be rude from the start.
6. Not calling
You shouldn't make a habit of forgetting to call your ladybug, but you don't need to get on your knees and beg for forgiveness when you do. The next time it happens, tell her you forgot.
5. Leaving the toilet seat up
Tell her that you'll put the toilet seat down when you're done doing your thing, if she puts it back up when she's done doing her thing.
4. A wandering eye... in public places
As long as you aren't too obvious and refrain from drooling this shouldn't be a problem. After all, you can't walk around with your eyes closed all the time.
3. Quick performances
It happens to the best of them so don't worry too much about this. If you didn't last as long as she would have liked you'll do better next time.
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