Proximity Bias and working in corporations.

Recently I interviewed for position that when speaking w/the hiring manager with prior to, I was told I would be an 'excellent fit'. 

Applying and interviewing, I liked who I spoke to, and felt confident about how things went.

Then I was ghosted by the recruiter and the hiring manager.

I learned after more than a month (via a connection) that the position had been filled. Turns out they had someone in mind already and the interviews were really just a formality.

You'd think I'd be saddened or even angry at this. You'd be surprised to find out I'm not - why?

Because I've been down this dead-end road before, and forced to turn around and find my way back to some place else.

It's happened to me many times in my working career in IT - both in past employers, and the current one more than once.

This is the role (or one of the roles) I play here. 

I'm extremely useful.

Meaning - someone (or several someones) with higher salaries than me and more authority knows who I am, knows what I have done, and has managed to place those accomplishments it under their own accountabilities and responsibilities, in order to make themselves look more important in the eyes of their bosses. And, they use their ability to stand at the doorway of opportunity and ensure only they go in, and not me.

So in this regard, I'm forever useful, but never valuable. That is, I will never been seen my the direct managers over me as anything more than just being able to do my job and other parts very well.

And it's easy to see why.

I refuse to play these games. I refuse to do that to others. I've been burned too many times to then do the required sucking up and then doing that to others who I would then have authority over.

But this is how Proximity Bias works in companies. Executives only listen and act based on the feedback given by the directors and managers, as opposed to having more data sources or being intellectually curious to expand and listen to more inputs.

As the years pass, I find myself asking more and more - is it really worth it all?

I mean yes I have responsibilities to myself and my family to take care of them, and money/compensation certainly helps in that regard. And for me working in IT is never going to be anything more than a job and a responsibilty.

But if I could do what I want to - could I? Could I in the years I have left to me?

I certainly don't want to die without ever trying.

And I don't want to keep putting off the things I want to do, only to reach a point in life where I can't do it any more.

So certainly some serious thinking to do.