2022-04-29

A strange feeling.

A couple of years ago, a person joined the company I worked with. Turned out they were from the same town as me, went to the same school as me, played some of the sports I played, even played music as I did. But, this person was joining a few levels higher up than I was, and not only managed people, but teams of people.

One would think I would've made some effort to get to know this person a little given our commonality, but no.

In fact, I made not only made no effort to try and get to know this person at all (this person didn't know me, or interact with where I worked, so I'm not surprised they never made any similar effort), but I went out of my way to avoid any meetings where I even had to listen to them talk. I think this was for fear that if they did know anything about me, they'd reach out and start chatting. 

Recently I heard they'd been let go, under less than stellar circumstances. While a part of me snickered inside on some level, doing so forced me to look back on my own ways I didn't interact with this person.

What was it about me not reaching out - was I so afraid that we'd be compared, and that my status would be perceived as less or lower by others around me? I mean after all, we've been working remotely for the last 2+ years; what difference would it have made? As well, for me working in IT has always been a job, so what I do I really care if I'm talking to someone with an apparent similar background?

Maybe it's that I didn't like or want to be compared against?

Or perhaps I felt my own level and status didn't measure up to part?

And what about how I felt after they'd been let go - did I really have any right to feel superior? Certainly I didn't do what they did, but on the other hand I had comparatively less responsibility - so why should I feel better about myself? I'm still doing the same work for the same group, with the same amount of respect I had back then vs. now, so who am I to feel smug?

Strange, isn't it?

 

 

No comments:

Post a Comment