It's funny (to me at least) - but with each passing year, life seems more and more bizarre. I seriously have trouble oftentimes distinguishing fiction from reality, especially when I find the latter more screwed up than the former.
And yes, I probably should've spent time drafting this earlier in the month. But here we are, less than 12 hours before 2023 starts and I'm blazing my way through it in an stream-of-concussions manner.
No one really reads most of this blog due to Google having me 'not' on the corporate algorithm - where I'm sure due to my say left-of-center/anti-crapitalist views - my blog is likely heavily suppressed. So in this regard then, I've nothing to lose by simply spouting off on this past year.
Actually that's a good place to start - corporations in the digital space suppressing content like mine at the behest of the rich and powerful in the American Establishment.
A few examples -
- And of course, the Twitter Files
Sure several 'liberal' commentators along with the right-wing would say otherwise, but there are a number of commentators of a progressive view who've experienced the throttling and suppression of their view points and thoughts.
What does this all mean? Several things but all told, it really boils down to the employer class' way of controlling the worker class - by controlling information, and distributing propaganda and lies wherever and whenever possible.
Nevertheless I keep writing and posting - mostly really at this point for myself as noted above. In a true sense, writing and creating are one of the truly great ways to try and keep myself sane in this day and age (along with keeping my critical thinking skills sharp).
But unlike taking a larger view of things (the US continuing its proxy wars against Russia via Ukraine and China via Taiwan, the continuing effects of climate change, the ongoing militarization of our society, the decline of this country's working class, the lies of COVID and the vaccines, and so on), I think I'll just focus on a few personal things.
Craplitalism
The US has entered the late-stage of the late-stage of capitalism. We as workers exist in a system that is controlled for the employer class. We have a uniparty system w/two 'brands' that pretend they are actually against each other. My goal in 2023 is to remind people to think for themselves and perhaps then, they'll realize that these brands don't serve them.
Music
I'd like to say I made a lot of progress. In this regard there's certainly truth to be shared. I did a lot of recording for my band. Lots of guitars, bass, vocals, programmed drums, etc. Still the task of completing and releasing material remains to be completed. Much of that was really me - I didn't drive harder and push for more progress from others. I didn't make it enough of a priority for my band mates, much less myself. We did finally arrive at the reality that we need a real drum kit for our drummer to record real parts. To that end I ordered an actual drum kit, only to have some components either defective, or missing. Just my luck I suppose.
It's frustrating to feel sabotaged by oneself and others, but such is life. Like anything, I have to squeeze out the disappointment and learn from it. That's the only thing one can really do in such situations. So we'll see how well we do in 2023.
The good news is, I think one we're past the drums, I think we'll make some good progress. Then of course there are several other things to work out - a replacement bass player, a band name, our social media process, touring, etc.
As far as my own music goes, I did actually complete another collections of 10 songs. Similar to last year, I left it really to the very end (and I had one song already queued up, so really I wrote 9 songs). But I felt good doing it. I very much utilized my collection of ideas, and am getting better at making the most of time to complete things. Now much like my band's work, I need to focus more attention at recording these songs. I have a set of close to 100 by now, so it's not like I'm short on work. The workflow for getting all the parts together is really for me to figure out.
Also, I discovered that I have the set up to come up with other kinds of music now - especially keyboard-based music. We'll see how that goes.
Work
Another year of working my ass off. Another year of 'thank you, here's your merit, stop complaining'.
I must be flagged in some database by some bossware and identified as not promote-able.
Perhaps my company thinks I don't work hard enough, or I don't kiss enough ass, or play the game.
Granted - corporations aren't a meritocracy, so I should not ever expect to be rewarded. I don't bring it up because I'm some great person or I'm really great at my job. But I can and do document what I have done, and made it clear what has been accomplished. And I do have a responsibility to myself and my family to give them more opportunities in life.
On top of everything, I lost a great deal of respect for my employer. Some of the identity politics going on and endless marketing of their 'values' while they treat employees like complete shit really gets to me.
It bothers me that all the anti-unionization, and insistence on returning to the office (which is really a punishment for being able to do my job 100 % remotely) just goes on and on. And of course, I'm powerless to really do much about it. It's not like there are opportunities out there for people like me.
To that end, I'm pretty sure I became a victim of ageism this year. Towards the end of the year, I interviewed for a 'proptech scaleup'. At first they listed a salary which I said would not work. Eventually they said they'd come around and meet my salary requirements. But then something weird happened.
Each interview would take place week after week. I'd interview with person x, get feedback that it went well, then hear nothing for 1-2 weeks. I'd ping the recruiter, then another round of interviews with person y, and a repeat.
It didn't take too long to realize that I clearly was the secondary/standby candidate, and that they kept me on reserve while they interviewed other candidates whose salary requirements were clearly less than mine.
Finally after not hearing back for a couple of weeks, I pinged the recruiter only to be told they went with someone cheaper. One can't do my job at a lower salary in this day and age with dependents to support. The only way a cheaper person can be afforded, is if they only have to support themselves. And that typically means someone at least 10-20 years younger.
To this end, I did decide to go out and obtain some certifications related to my work. I figured my employer isn't going to do anything to help me, I might as well help myself. Hopefully I'll sign up for some technical training this year - time-permitting, and see where that goes.
Family
Myself
I hit 50 this year. For the first time, I really no longer looked or felt young. I did get a new doctor and signed up for some of the over-50 tests I due to have (having devices shoved up my ass is not my idea of a good time).
Working out remains a challenged. Because of my neck issues, I'm still constrained to a very limited exercise routine. I put off the surgery that's been proposed for another year because I'm worried it'll cause more issues that it'll address.
Still - except for the end of the year where I ate a little too well - I did maintain my overall physique. I can still fit in my clothes.
Goals for 2023 and final thoughts
- Work out a recording process for my band, and my own rock songs
- Release a collection of songs from my band
- Write new material for the band, my own stuff, and new music
- Obtain some new technical certifications plus renew my ones from last year
- Obtain a new role either at work, or through a new employer
- Keep my critical thinking skills sharp, and remain vigilant about being able to spot bullshit
- Make some decisions around my happiness, and whom I want to spend that with.
