FASD

So as many of you probably know, I ride a bus to and from work. And as I've blogged numerous times, I seem to continually receive treatment often times worse than others, largely because I'm neither the right color or right gender for the bus driver (or 'coach operator' as they liked to be called in some circles. Fuck you - you drive a bus).

Well in this case, I seem to have picked up a special honor.

Yes, I have the pleasure of standing and waiting for a bus, while someone else usually takes that moment to pass gas. Yes it's quite an honor bestowed upon me to have this air his views openly while I get to stand and do pretty much nothing.

Why me? Don't really know.

Okay - why do I think it's just me who has this honor?

Well ....

It could be that this guy farts around other people, though in all my times at the bus stop, when other people were around, never heard a peep from him (or toot I guess in this case).

But no ... when it's just him and me, he says hello, then often times takes the opportunity to relieve himself before our bus arrives.

Does he think I'm deaf?

And ... to make matters worse ... he works at Amazon (I had the misfortune of overhearing him talk to someone else at our stop once about how wonderful Amazon's services are (they are not)) and he's a software developer, which means he's completely clueless about just about anything that doesn't involve the code he's working on (I pity any software tester who has to come to him with bugs in his code).

To be fair, he's an otherwise nice guy. He's otherwise polite.

But seriously, why is it I'm the one person he feels comfortable farting around? Invariably when other prospective passengers arrive and smell the stench, they somehow always look at me, the non-white guy.

And it's not like I can confront the guy and say "Hey! Must you do that while I'm around? My ears and nose do work. It's not my fault your alimentary processes don't work at this hour. Why do you release your gas when others are around and not just for my benefit? Or better still, why don't take care of that problem at your house, where this sort of things belongs?"

Well I could confront him, but who knows then what might happen. Why before I know it, Amazon will come knocking on my door and demanding money from me for their shitty services and crappy products.

But today, was the final straw (or note; I have to admit, this guy really only let's them go quickly and with a lot of staccato, not much sustain). So I thought - what could I do?

Maybe it was the whiff of air from his fart today, but it occurred to me, I do have somewhere I can track all this. I have this blog! I should track it here.

Thank you Blogger for providing a place online for hapless people like me to track other people and their farting! I'll do just that - AMERICA!

Then perhaps people around the world will discover that people who work at Amazon are lot like this guy, polite to a point, but will literally pollute the air around you because they are clueless and don't really care about you as long as they get your money.

So I've put up a new list for the Farting Amazon Software Developer - FASD. I'm going to track all the days this guy farts at the bus stop. If he can air his views for my senses, who's to say I'm not allowed to respond back?

And perhaps, people will discover that this guy really is a representation of Amazon - in that the literally don't give a shit about anyone around them, except when they think potential customers are near. If that isn't the definition of combined arrogance and ignorance - whereby they must actually believe their shit don't stink - then I don't know what is.