Last year ended on a hopeful note. I thought this country and its voters had moved this country away from the point of no return. I thought people had finally come their senses and realized that electing conservatives and right-wingers into public office is a very bad idea, because said groups are incapable of governing nations.
And I think on most levels, so did most Americans.
So, what happened since then?
- The government that the people elected chose to put the large banks ahead of everyone else in terms of helping.
- Barack Obama didn't learn from the major event in Afghanistan in 2009 and essentially the Bush War On Terror, became his war.
- Our government failed its citizens again by putting the the health insurance and drug companies ahead, under the guise of health care 'reform'.
On a personal level, I found this year much harder. I found myself once again in a position of not knowing as much as everyone else around me, and always being the person with least amount of authority. Conveniently, I'm also usually the person who's forced to be the most polite. It makes me question whether what I do will ever be considered valuable and important enough to be treated with equal respect compared to those with 'technical skills'.
I let my family talk me into taking in a coprophagic dog who does nothing else but shit, sleep, and crave attention or food. Completely untrustworthy and disobedient. As the year draws to a close, I find myself weary of having to constantly fight the same daily battles with an animal whose personality I dislike.
I've no one to blame but myself. Essentially, I chose to allow these things to happen. I failed to ask the right questions, and failed to act when not all right with the answers. Perhaps it's because I chose to trust those around me in that I thought they were being honest, or that I relied on people to provide me information to do my work, in that I thought there were no hidden agendas and so forth.
I've always had problems trusting or relying on others.
I realized in 2009 that happiness only comes in this life when you are actively pursuing it. The moment one stops pursuing one's dreams, one is not living anymore, but functioning.
So, my goal in 2010 - move myself finally in the direction of pursuing my dreams. Some may call it selfish. They can fuck off. It's been too long for me to not care about my needs, my desires, and my dreams. I need to get myself back on that path to happiness. Of course, I mustn't neglect my responsibilities. The difference between 2010 and 2009 is that with the latter, I let those responsibilities take over to the point where my happiness was pushed out of importance. My goal this year is to work out a plan to balance both, while at the same time moving my life towards my happiness.
As with everything in life, it's a matter of focus.
No comments:
Post a Comment