Essentially destruction.
That's really all it has left.
2026-01-04
As if 2026 won't get rougher ...
... so begins an uncertain (and unpleasant) time at work.
Bad enough the politics.And naturally I'm too far down the foodchain to be in any decision-making capacity about what's being delivered, and specifically when.
The worst part is being bossed around by others, especially those who aren't actually the work. Of course they say they represent other teams, but I already know that. It's the way such small-minded people love maximizing their authority and stepping on people like me.
But as I said previously - my goal is to stay focused on my work, and not take things to personally. This means keeping my emotions in check and not losing my shit; regardless of whether one of these people is making/intending to make it personal.
2026-01-03
The endgame for the US Empire begins - the attack on Venezuela.
Lesson for the all other humans - this is what being ruled by psychopaths and criminals are like.
Imagine this happening to you - if you can, then realize that this is how it's been for as long as it has existed.
If we are to survive, we have to first understand the US for the threat to the globe that it represents. Only then can we then dismantle its systems and replace them with ones that can save ourselves from extinction.
2026-01-02
2025-12-31
2025: End Of Year Thoughts.
Well, if I had any qualms about what 2025 would be like, they went out the door fairly fast.
This was one year I wasn't ready for.
Perhaps ironically, it drove me to start this post earlier than normal.
However rather than doing things as I usually do, I'm going to approach this in different way. Just write out a few thoughts and leave it at that.
If I had to choose a word that best described 2025 for me - it's LOSS.
Lots of things and people came and went in 2025.
Loss of famous musicians. It's weird to think that bands like Black Sabbath and KISS will never ever be now. I guess that's a part of life, but even then it's hard to fathom.
In many ways for me however, it all starts at work. The loss of so many friends and colleagues over the course of several months, hit me really hard.
This isn't to say or suggest that I worship either the people I work with or my employer. But aside from family, it's the longest I've ever been in one place. So when you get to know a lot of people over a fairly long period of time, and many of the people exit - it can really do a number on you.
Getting up and going to work (that's a whole other story) isn't the same.
Walking through the front door and sitting at a desk isn't the same.
Focusing on your job and missing critical people who help you in your job isn't the same.
In so many ways I've known that a job is a job, and to an employer, that's all one is. But due to all the layoffs, I really feel it more. And based on the reasons for hit happening, I know that it's really only a matter of time before it happens to me as well.
Along with this, came an apparent loss of respect. By this I mean that I finally know now that I'm truly not very highly regarded or respected by anyone at work - rather I'm only tolerated because of the group I'm in, and that this role wasn't one worth considered transitioning over to a service provider. This is a reminder to me (like it or not) that I have to come to terms with the idea that I really need to make the transition out. There are really only three possibilities -
- Transition to a new role internally
- Transition to a new role externally
- Transition to a new vocation completely
Yeah, good luck on any of those in this environment of endless job losses.We'll see where that goes.
Then there's the loss of people around the world.
The ongoing genocide of brown people largely by white people (i.e.Israel's genocide crimes against the Palestinians) is a reminder to me to that we as a species are heading down a path with no return. If we collectively cannot stop one group of people from destroying a whole other group of people (and recognize that the underlying system that allows this - neo-liberal US Crapitalism -is the source of many other ills in the world, including colonialism, imperialism, fascism, etc) - then how to we stand any chance of stopping the largest threat to all of us - climate change?
I did make some progress music-wise.
Actually completed writing 10 new songs this year. I wrote an additional few extra songs, with many more ideas (chord progressions, riffs, lyrics, melodies) lined up. The thing is, this all came at a loss - I HAD to focus on this because I lost my main equipment for writing and arranging. And to make things worse, the replacements for them won't be arriving any time soon.
One good thing I did get out of all this, was I was finally able to finalize on a way or recording that actually will meet my basic goals.
It's funny how losing a critical piece of technology actually forced me to adapt and use older and less pristine equipment; such that I was able to be both creative and productive.
Lastly, there has been the loss of trust.
It took me long enough to realize that there are some people in my life that are consciously and actively looking to sabotage my goals and wishes - by any means necessary. Often times it comes in the form of sowing doubt in me, or simply telling me what I want to do is a waste of time. In other cases, it's about stony silence and lack of engagement.
The discovery of all this has been painful for me in many ways. It's a tough thing to realize that I'm regarded and treated as nothing more than a living paycheck; who gets up early to avoid traffic, work early and late and weekends (the latter of which I think, was one of the reason I am still employed), only to hand all that over in a paycheck to be spent into nothingness with no care in the world. And then to be otherwise marginalized, or simply not taken into consideration. It's even worse when one's ideas and thoughts and wishes are dismissed, derailed, de-emphasized, or simply ignored altogether.
But ... what I have learned throughout all this is ... that none of this will sidetrack me on what I want to do - why?
- My happiness if something I can achieve - I don't need to find that elsewhere. And I certainly don't need to find it in others.
- Don't take things personally and emotionally from others - even if (and especially even if) that's how it's intended.
All that bullshit and drams is just that - bullshit and drama designed to distract and deflect and prolong and project others' and their unhappiness and inadequacies onto me. And that it truly is up to me to move forward. In this regard, the seeds of that plan are slowing being planted now. Now it's time to be patient, stay focused on delivering on the day-to-day things, and being polite and professional.
When those seeds begin to sprout, it's up to me to nurture them,and make it grow. None of what these people do will hold me back from my happiness. And now that I know who and what they are - I won't let them.
Prologue
Well I said I'd do something different, and here it is. This whole year, loss has been a theme; and with that comes sadness. I think of sadness as our way of coping with loss, as a means of finding a way forward on our own. I spent a lot of time on the road and by myself. One positive output of this, was listening to lots of different kinds of music. This one particular song really touched me, because it contains many elements of the way I'm looking to make music in the future. But as well, emotionally, the tone, the notes, the scale, the instruments (heck the basic chord progression) really helped me cope and continues to do so.
So I'm posting it here - perhaps if you are experiencing loss, it can do for you what it has for me.
2025-12-29
For Western societies - standing up for women's rights evidently doesn't mean if they are not Judeo-Christian, nor apparently white.
Wonder how the metoo crowd responds to this -
IOF escalates abuse against Palestinian women prisoners in Damon
These assaults form part of a broader deterioration in detention conditions, which prisoners say continue to worsen.
Quote of the day - 12-29-2025.
Dr. Ramzy Baroud
The horrifying statistics aside, we bear witness to the final agonies of a people. We have watched their extermination in real-time, broadcast to every handheld screen on earth. No one can claim ignorance; no one can claim innocence. Even now, we watch as 1.3 million Palestinians endure a precarious existence in tents ravaged by winter floods. We share the screams of mothers, the hollowed-out faces of broken fathers, and the haunted stares of children, and yet, the world’s political and moral institutions remain paralyzed.
If Israel resumes the full, unrestrained intensity of this genocide, will we stop it? I fear the answer is no, because the world refuses to dismantle the circumstances that permitted this slaughter in the first place. Israeli officials never bothered to hide their intent. The systematic dehumanisation of Palestinians was a primary export of Israeli media, even as Western corporate outlets worked tirelessly to sanitise this criminal discourse.
The record of intent is undeniable. National Security Minister Itamar Ben-Gvir openly championed the “encouragement of migration” and demanded that “not an ounce of humanitarian aid” reach Gaza. Finance Minister Bezalel Smotrich argued that the starvation of two million people could be “just and moral” in the pursuit of military aims. From the halls of the Knesset to the pop charts, the refrain was the same: “erase Gaza,” “leave no one there.” When military leaders refer to an entire population as “human animals,” they are not using metaphors; they are issuing a license for extermination.
This was preceded by the hermetic siege — a decades-long experiment in human misery that began in 2006. Despite every Palestinian plea for the world to break this death grip, the blockade was allowed to persist. This was followed by successive wars targeting a besieged, impoverished population under the banner of ‘security,’ always shielded by the Western mantra of Israel’s ‘right to defend itself.’
In the dominant Western narrative, the Palestinian is the eternal aggressor. They are the occupied, the besieged, the dispossessed, and the stateless; yet they are expected to die quietly in the world’s ‘largest open-air prison‘. Whether they utilised armed resistance, threw rocks at tanks, or marched unarmed toward snipers, they were branded ‘terrorists’ and ‘militants’ whose very existence was framed as a threat to their occupier.
2025-12-28
Hmm ... it never dawned on me that these two could be related.
Who the fuck knew?
https://mondoweiss.net/2025/12/understanding-the-relationship-between-zionism-and-fascism/
For many, it was – and continues to be – unthinkable that Zionists could be fascists because of the centrality of antisemitism to fascism in Europe. However, Zionist fascists, like Abba Ahimeir, an admirer of the authoritarian philosopher Oswald Spengler, believed that fascism had no inherent connection to antisemitism, and that therefore Zionists could be fascists. However, more consistent with the Black radical approach is that the European Zionists – Christian but also Jewish – were in fact antisemites, in addition to being racists. Theodor Herzl famously declared antisemites Zionism’s ‘most dependable friends’ and opposed Jewish immigration, arguing they carried ‘the seeds of anti-Semitism into England; they have already introduced it into America.’ In 1897 he depicted the anti-Zionist caricature, ‘Mauschel’, ‘a distorted, deformed and shabby fellow’ who he did not see as belonging to the same race as the Jewish Zionist who must be freed from association with Mauschel.
It is well-known additionally that Zionists actively thwarted the saving of European Jews from the Nazis. Ralph Schoenman documents that ‘From 1933 to 1935, the WZO turned down two-thirds of all the German Jews who applied for immigration certificates’ because they were seen as of little use to the requirements of the Zionist colony.
Hey T-Mobile ...
... stop making such male-hate ads.
It's bad enough you have those two losers from that loser TV show on, being idiots.
But as someone who's forced to use your service, your ads make me look for a better opportunity.
Which I'll jump on, the moment arrives.
2025-12-27
Can't save ourselves from the worst of our behaviors.
Bullying. Amazing how the loudest and so-called most powerful seem to always be the ones doing the bullying.
US continues pursuit and seizure of Venezuelan oil tankers amid condemnation at UN Security Council
Tensions continue to rise in the Caribbean. The United States continues to confiscate and pursue Venezuelan oil tankers, while Caracas denounces what it considers an “act of international piracy” at the UN.
Trump’s Strike on Nigeria: Joint with Muslim President, Unconstitutional, Useless Posturing for Evangelicals
2025-12-26
10000 bodies found by one excavator.
Repeat that to anyone who still think the State of Israel isn't committing genocide.
And show them this -> https://mondoweiss.net/2025/12/one-excavator-10000-bodies-a-sea-of-rubble-inside-gazas-effort-to-retrieve-and-bury-its-dead/
2025-12-25
Another 12-25-2025 of concentration camp misery and horror for Palestinians.
This is why US Crapitalism must end - because as long as things like this continue, our collective existence as we know it - will end someday.
I did not understand I grew up in a concentration camp until I left Gaza
Growing up in Gaza, I didn't realize that the
siege I was living under was unique or that others didn't face a
constant threat of death. It was only after I left that I understood I
had grown up in a concentration camp, and that it shaped my life.
2025-12-24
You know the wealthy and powerful in the US only care about ... their wealth and their power, right?
After all, if they really cared about 'government spending' and 'responsibility' something like this would matter.
https://www.commondreams.org/news/pentagon-8th-consecutive-audit
That is matters to uh, the rest of us in society (as it's our tax dollars/wealth being 'lost'), is evidence of this.
2025-12-23
Said it before and I'll say it again - capitalism is a system that enables and empowers criminals, bullies and psychopaths using money.
Example:
Budour Hassan Sounds Alarm as Israeli Settlements Expand, Deepening Apartheid and Threatening Palestinian Statehood
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