Well after a long time, I'm back to playing music again. It's in a (cover) band and I'm mostly playing rhythm guitar as well as some bass on a few tracks. What started as just 4-5 songs has become more like 15.
While it's true that I've been (and still am) collecting a ton of ideas for songs, the fact that there is no time, or resources for me to do something useful about it has been eating away at me for a very long time. The inability to simply pick up a guitar, plug it into an amp, connect things up to record all the necssary parts that make up a song, all of this has been getting under my skin for ages.
How is this connected to playing in a cover band?
Of course it's not exactly the kind of music I would prefer to play. But perhaps that's not the point. I think I'm playing because it's a chance for me to focus on learning something again, not just the songs, about myself. Since I didn't know any of the material prior to agreeing to join, in my mind it was a test as to whether I still had the mental capacity to apply what I know to get what I needed done.
My technical ability on a guitar has more or less stayed the same. But my ability to analyze songs, listen to them, figure out chords, riffs, even a few leads, that sparks something in me.
But even that's not it. I suspect the reason why I went along and am doing it, is because, on some level, I think I feel like I need to be wanted for something other than cleaning up other people's messes (i.e. working in IT in QA). It's nice to be appreciated and perhaps even admired for a chance by other adults for something one is fairly good at. It's nice to be held in high regards for a change. And I get to make a bunch of new friends (as well as reconnect with some old ones).
My hope is it'll lead to something more, not just in this group, but for myself. We'll see.
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